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Friday, August 23, 2013

Thoughts on the End of the Beginning. . . .

Dear Readers,

Two days ago I started my first day of my senior year. It's incredibly hard to believe. It's completely surreal. Where did the time go? As cliche as it sounds- time has flown. Though it's something one hears all the time, as a child you think you're never going to "grow up" and that you will be attending school for the rest. of. your. life. Your parents always tell you to just trust them but time will fly by faster than you want it to fly. Yet we all have internally "rolled our eyes" and thought yeah right. Despite the fact that I was one of those "internal-eye-rollers," they were absolutely right...

I can't believe that this is the beginning of the end. My best friend and I were discussing it, last week. She reminded me of one very important fact that I keep trying to remind myself. She said: "Cayla remember that it isn't the end of everything good. It's just the beginning of something greater." I keep reminding myself of that, this week. And I have to say, it's made me feel so much better! I've been so much more peaceful. I have decided that I'm going to try to resist the urge of saying "I wish I could just hurry up and get to college" OR "Man, I wish I could go back and do it all over again."

God has placed me in the season I'm in, and when I'm in it, for a reason. I need to learn to enjoy the time I'm in and use it to the best of my ability to glorify Him. So this week my challenge has been resisting impatience to speed into the future and/or being melancholy about "old times." In summary- I'm trying to be less melodramatic. ;)

I know what you're thinking.... How have you succeeded? Wellllll.....good intentions do not necessarily mean effective actions. :P But the will power is there. I'm trying with all my might to be content and work hard.

The bane in my good intentions has been stress and fear of the future. Fear is a direct lack of faith. I have to say, I've been greatly convicted over it the past few weeks. I seem to be constantly worrying about what college I'm supposed to attend, where I'm supposed to go, and how I'm going to pay for my education. It is ever present in my mind. Yet, this week I was told by another best friend to take a step back and examine the eternal consequences of the decisions I'm faced with. He said: "Lately however, I've gained some fortitude by realizing the bigger picture. All of our choices for our education are important to our futures, but what does it really mean in light of the eternal? For example, if you spend this year studying as hard as you can, yet still don't get your school finished, will God no longer use you? I can tell you for sure, that He still can and will. All this to say, results aren't always going to go the way we want. It's just a fact of life. Still, God will always use outcomes for His plan. Work as hard and as diligently as you can on your school and finding a college, and God picks out what happens." (I have great, solid best friends, huh?) :D

So this evening as I sit drinking my hot tea, listening to the rain patter against the window pane, and pouring my hear out in writing.... I am reminded of the words of the song that just came on- "I Look to You" by Selah:

"'Bout to lose my breath, there's no more fighting left. Sinking to rise no more, searching for that open door. And every road I'm taking, led to my regret. I don't know if I'm gonna make it. Nothing to do but lift my head. I look to You, I look to You. After all my strength is gone, in You I can be strong. I look to You, I look to You. And when melodies are gone- in You I hear a song. I look to You."

Let's finish this!

Go Class of 2014!!

Always in His Arms,